I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection - Sigmund Freud
Whenever I go to Mr. Crap’s house (one of my most favorite buddies), I’m constantly reminded of how insanely creative he is. This guy comes up with new ideas to change the world everyday, designs cars, writes good philosophy, plays the piano, is good at academics, speaks six languages and does so many wonderful things that are quite beyond the reach of a 19 year old.
He sure is going to make it big someday, and a share of his laurels will go to the two most important people in his world - his parents. I’ve known them for a number of years now and I must mention that I drew inspiration for this post from these two gentle, caring people.
I know there are lots of people in this world (including me) who are so grateful for the kind of parents that they’ve got. Parents really play a huge role in shaping a kid’s future. I’m sure there are some young parents among the small bunch of readers who come to this blog and I feel that I can help them out with a few tips on being not just a good dad or a good mom but a great one.
So I’ve come up with a list of things that every parent must know to make sure that their children grow up to be wonderful people; a list learned from many parents that I’ve known, including mine :)
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How to Raise Wonderful Kids -15 Fantastic Tips to Shine as a Parent
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- Let your family be one of your top priorities. There are few things as important as your family and kids. Focus on your children. Spend time with them. Play and laugh with them. Make yourself a person who is fun to be with.
- Listen to them. Listen to their dreams. Their Stories. And their blabber. If your kid says he wants to be a pilot or a rock star, agree with him.
- Be the life coach of your kids. You are not just a parent but a developer of your cute little ones. Mold them into fine children. Actively engage them in the things that come naturally to them. Find out what interests them and encourage them. Give them confidence. Help them cultivate a number of interests.
- Expose them to art and wonder. Show them awesome achievements. Read out books. Show them pieces of art. Take them to places where they could grow their young hearts and minds.
- Teach them the value of people. Teach them about relationships and the bonds built on trust.
- Teach them how to save. Teach them the game of life in which nothing comes without saving, planning and hard work.
- Reward them. If your kid finishes his homework for the day, or if he sketches an elephant or behaves well with an older person or does something good, just go out and reward him immediately. Kids like it when they’re appreciated.
- Teach them how to handle disappointments. Let them not lose heart and quit at the brink of failure. Make them strong. Make them believe that they are good enough.
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5 things that you should not do
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- Don’t teach them your limitations. Introduce them to what’s possible. Never let your fears affect them. Let them grow in a world of possibilities.
- Don’t force them. Never try to force kids into something that they don’t like, except for the most necessary things. Let them decide what to do with their lives. Just be a guiding light, not the decision maker.
- Don’t fight or argue in front of them. Statistics say that children who watched their parents fight all through childhood are more probable to become bad citizens.
- Don’t act cheap. Kids learn from you. Never lie, cheat or con. If you think you’re acting smart, you’re ruining your kid.
- Don’t lose patience. Don’t get frustrated with your kids. Forgive them if they did wrong. Learn to be patient if you’re not in that habit already. An average 4 year old asks more than 300 questions a day. No one ever said raising a kid was easy! :)
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Finally,
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- Be an example. Walk your talk. You cannot expect your kid to be good if you don’t follow your own values. Be a parent that every kid would love to have. Let your son boast about you at school. Your little guy looks up to you. Be a role model.
- Tell them how much you love them. Express your love. Tell them everyday how much you care for them. Build unbreakable bonds within the family.
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Bottom line
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Being a great parent is not the easiest of jobs. Sometimes it means moving out of your comfort zone, or getting interrupted while doing an important assignment. But it is your responsibility to raise your kids in such a way that they live up to their best potential. And they will remember you as an important person who influenced their lives in a big way. They will love you.
Be a proud parent! And a great one! :)
Image Source 1 | Image Source 2
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Links to useful articles and products:
How to be a Great Dad - 12 Awesome Tips | Zenhabits
Poshmama.com - Great Parenting Tips for Mothers
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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Quite a long post…..thanks for your patience! ;)
If you liked this article, please share with others on digg, stumbleupon or del.icio.us! :)
Great post!
i’m lovin’ it :)
I consider, that the child never cannot to force be done that…. That as it seems to us correct or necessary. The child should choose itself that is pleasant to it, and we parents should support it and in every possible way praise, then the child has a motivation to do it even better!
Wonderful post! Being a parent myself, it is important to be reminded sometimes of these things .. you made me smile. :) Thanks for such great words!
Thanks Christy, for your encouraging words :) Feels good to know that someone found my article useful.
Hi,
I was just wondering, would you be able to remove the first photo? As much as I am honoured that you liked my photo, it is one I took of some friends (as opposed to my own family), and I had not realised that I had not changed the permissions on it at the time. (They have now been changed, and are no longer creative commons).
Thanks,
Sharon
Sharon,
I’ve changed the first photo and it’s good that you brought this to my attention :) Anyway, that was a great pic! :)
Manu.
Hi there,
Like your blog and this post. I recently wrote a post on children’s education as well with just some thoughts of mine and thoughts by Francoise Dolto. Have a look.
http://mindfulmimi.blogspot.com/2008/01/while-we-try-to-teach-our-children-all.html
Overall an enjoyable post, but there is one point which I disagree with quite strongly as written:
“Don’t fight or argue in front of them. Statistics say that children who watched their parents fight all through childhood are more probable to become bad citizens.”
Those statistics do not account for parents who argue respectfully (which may include raising of voices and “firm” talking to one another) and allow their children to understand the true dynamics of relationships - that there are challenges and differences that need to be worked out.
My parents never argued in front of me, and it set a precedent for not having realistic expectations about relationships and parenting. I was led to believe that “Happy ever after” was a realistic possibility, but now in a deeply heartful and meaningful marriage, I can say that “happy ever after” doesn’t exist. It’s something people really do have to work at, and by not allowing our children to see that side of relationships, we do a great injustice to their overall upbringing, emotional maturity, and relationship expectations.
On that note, I do not approve of “fighting” in the context of name calling, yelling/screaming… anything that steps over the boundaries of being respectful to our partner.
Chris,
Yes, those statistics do not account for parents who argue respectfully. It’s just that, disrespectful words and yelling can really affect a child in a big way.
Composed parents who talk and resolve differences will set very good examples for the child, as it will teach the kid how relationships need a bit of effort and that respecting others’ ideas & talking can solve all issues.
Chris said exactly what I was about to say. My parents’ resolve not to ever argue in front of the kids had the same effect on me, that is, setting up unrealistic expectations and never allowing us to see healthy conflict resolution in action. I think it is very important not to portray yourselves as infallible to your kids. Let them see that two people who love and respect each other can have strong disagreements, and that they can be worked through in a positive, respectful way.